


Not Your Buddy

by krakenking



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Gore, i just wanted more nonsense tbh, i mean it's up to interpretation i guess, only in second chapter tho, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:46:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7210409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krakenking/pseuds/krakenking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing much, just guys being dudes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The harsh winds of the Aussie desert whipped around them both, tiny sand particles eating away at their skin, causing small abrasions that neither of them really noticed or cared about; as long as both of their eyes were protected with either a mask or goggles, they could endure the almost constant stream of bombardment. The heat of the sun was on their backs, trying to burn through Junkrat’s skin, but Roadhog had made sure that his boss’s upper body had been covered with some kind of protection, and some white chalk mixed with water was the best he could do for the time being. As whiney as he was, his boss was extra whiney whenever he wasn’t able to wear his explosives along his shoulders and down his chest. They both knew it was a comfort item for him; he was jumpier than usual when he didn’t have explosives that were within reach of him, and for good reason, too. You didn’t survive this long with tons of people wanting to catch you for something you just happened to stumble across while scavenging without something to give you a head start. Roadhog had been one of them not too long ago either. 

As they cruised along through the Outback on his bodyguard’s prized motorcycle, looking for anything promising of a payload of any kind, the obnoxiously loud rumbling and grumbling of the larger man’s stomach was giving away what was most important. It seemed like one of them would prefer to hunt down something edible to keep them both going before returning to their shelter for the night, and Junkrat could probably use some food too, although he was mostly interested in salvaging anything he could use to create more bombs with. He was low on supplies in their bunker, and he was antsy about whether or not what they had now would be enough to stave off any attacks from other Junkers. ‘Hog might be his bodyguard, but he could only continue to be his bodyguard as long as he stayed alive. And he needed him to stay alive because if he ended up alone again with his very important and sought after treasure, he would not stand a chance out here, especially once the others heard of his loss. He had already paid an arm and a leg, heh, to keep his shit safe. No need to pay anymore than he already had to. News had traveled fast when they became partners and it was only a matter of time that someone got the better of his bodyguard, although from what they’ve been through already, it didn’t seem possible. Still, it was a possibility that he didn’t like to think about too much. 

His boss’s jitteriness was nothing new to Roadhog, but it did set him on edge sometimes, if not all the time. He just listened to him ramble on and on and on about needing more explosives, and bombs, and gunpowder, and gas, and just stuff, stuff in general. He was content to not mutter a single word, however whenever Junkrat did look up from his seat in the sidecar, looking for some sort of reaction, he would grunt and nod or shake his head, depending upon what the smaller, scrawnier man had said. It didn’t really matter what he said though, if he ever did, because Junkrat would just ignore it and continue talking, interpreting his bodyguard’s words and body language the way he wanted to, sometimes even placing blame on him when he didn’t want to take responsibility for his own actions. Once in a while, Junkrat actually did listen to Roadhog, but those times were rare, and usually when the both of them were in serious trouble. If he weren’t getting paid 50/50 in shares of their profits as well as guaranteed knowledge (eventually) to whatever incredibly valuable secret thing Junkrat had managed to come across, Roadhog would probably be causing his own mayhem somewhere else. 

Or at least that was his initial thought a couple of years ago when the two of them first partnered up. He had snuck up on the kid when he noticed that someone had entered his territory without permission. Junkrat had been way too occupied with something in a scrap heap that he hadn’t heard the humongous man lumber on over to him, and Roadhog always somehow managed to be amazingly quiet when he wanted to be, despite his size. At first, he had wanted to snap the rest of the kid’s remaining appendages before throwing him out. That would teach him a lesson to not sneak around places that he shouldn’t be in, but as soon as he saw the singed hair and heard the manic laughter, he realized that the intruder was someone that he had been meaning to find anyways. Roadhog had grunted and took pride in seeing the fear arise in the intruder’s eyes after turning around to see what it was that made that strange, almost piglike noise. The spark of recognition in the kid’s eyes was brief as it was hard to not know who he was and the mask was of course a dead giveaway. The brute of a man started to advance on his target and smiled, enjoying the way his future boss had thrown up his hands and grinned nervously, giggling and looking around to see what he could protect himself with. There was nothing that could effectively take him out and the kid knew it. He was trapped, but he was still gonna fight just like any other cornered person at the end of their rope. Roadhog was just curious to see how fast this would be over. 

“Oi! Listen here you lug, er, mate, I just gotta take a few things then I’ll be on me way! Promise I won’t come back here, although I’m here for a reason, too. I just need you to listen to me-”

“Ain’t you the one that found somethin’ worth a pretty penny?” he had asked, lowering his voice even deeper than it already was, standing up to his full height, letting the brat take him in completely, and making sure that his brass knuckles glimmered in the sunlight that reached this part of Roadhog’s residence. It made Junkrat cower even more knowing that he had been found out and he began to wring his hands, the nervous laughter starting to escalate, his eyes darting from Roadhog’s mask and the rubbish that surrounded him. 

“What? Me? I-I don’t know what you’re on about, mate, I’m just looking for...looking for a...”

“You lookin’ for some protection, kid?”

Dumbfounded, Junkrat paused and looked at him skeptically, clearly not thinking that this was a possible outcome in this encounter with a strange, large, menacing man in the wastelands of the Outback. “What? I mean, yeah, how’d’ya know? I heard that maybe I could find a big guy named after a pig around here so I thought that I would start searching but I got a li’l distracted with finding some other stuff, ‘cause it’s not every day that you come across some well needed supplies to bomb stuff with, plus I don’t have the best stuff on me at the moment, so if I were to hire someone I…” He took a deep breath. “Are you him? I mean, I think I can tell just by lookin’ at you big guy, but you never know...”

“…”

Junkrat sighed and slumped over, letting his guard down for the time being, feeling a little defeated. He had been caught it seemed, and the only way it looked like he was gonna get out of it is if he talked. “Okay, well, yeh, I’m lookin’ for a bodyguard and soon as I saw you one day I knew it was gonna be you, ya know? Everyone’s scared of you (as am I) and you’re one bloody big oaf and you can take hits and you’re good at being intimidating, and fuck, I ain’t got nothing on me right now to pay you, how did I not bring something to pay with-” The kid’s eyes widened even further as he started patting around his pants frantically. It was downright pathetic and Roadhog was feeling a little insulted.

“Make it 50/50, split shares on all profits. Overheard a few Junkers wantin’ to find and kill ya or turn you in, but you didn’t make it this far on yer own without causin’ some trouble. I want in. Deal?”

That seemed to grab the kid’s attention and Roadhog watched as his facial expression changed from scared and panicked and confused to pure hatred. It was fascinating to watch those subtle movements of his change from shaking with fear to shaking with rage, and Junkrat’s hands turned into fists right quick. “Which Junkers? I’ll gut ‘em then blow all of ‘em up! They ain’t taking the one precious thing that’s mine! I found it first, I found it, it’s mine! You ain’t takin’ it either, so if you wanna kill me then go ahead, you’ll never find it, wanker, and I’ll never tell ya where it is either!” 

“So, what’d’ya say?”

It took a few minutes for Junkrat to calm down and fully think through his options, and as he did so, Roadhog noticed that while this kid might not look like much of a threat, he had a detonator hidden in his hands that he was about to blow in case the worst case scenario happened. He was smarter than he looked then, knowing fully well that he needed to rig the place up first before entering. Danger could come in many forms and the kid knew what kind of pressure that he was dealing with in keeping what was his safe from anyone else’s hands. If he weren’t gonna be blowing up his own place, Roadhog would have been impressed. Okay, so he was a little bit, but he was happy to know that the kid wasn’t too trigger happy. Or rather that it was a fluke that he didn’t accidentally push the button when he curled his hands into fists. Roadhog came to the conclusion that he must be used to carrying it around with him. 

“Eh, fine, what the heck, mate, I can afford to pay you that much. Kind of figured I’d have to pay another arm and a leg to get top notch protection anyways! Not that I would actually give up the other half of me, I’m already angry enough as it is that I gotta wear this omnic shit. Name’s Junkrat,” he stuck out his organic hand after sliding the detonator in his back pocket and smiled so wide, showing off all of his teeth, that Roadhog was almost unsettled by it. He didn’t know of anyone else that could smile that big and teeth so sharp, but he shrugged it off and shook the hand firmly, letting Junkrat get a taste of what kind of power he had in just his hands. It made the kid wince, but didn’t let it get to him that much, still smiling. It was starting to piss him off, but he kept his composure for the time being.

“Roadhog.”

Junkrat’s smile turned into a smirk as they released hands. “Ha! Is that really yer name then? I thought everyone called ya that just ‘cause you had that huge bike of yers! Ya know? Like a road hog ‘cause you hog the road all the time? Although, now that I’m seein’ ya up close and personal, I guess it’s also ‘cause of that mask and li’l piggy tat of yers on yer tummy. Funny that.”

“Your name Junkrat then ‘cause you’re a rat?” he countered, annoyed and taking a little offense at his tattoo being mocked. 

“Oi! Ain’t I your employer now, ‘Hog?” Junkrat poked a finger at Roadhog’s mask, getting close enough to touch it. Usually he would have slugged anyone that dared to lay a hand anywhere near his beloved mask, but he also was beginning to find the little rascal rather amusing. 

“As an employee, ya better start showin’ me some respect,” Junkrat puffed up his chest and tried to be serious about it, but he just didn’t seem to be capable of such a thing as he burst into yet another fit of giggles and lightly punched Roadhog’s arm with his metal hand. 

“I’m just messin’ with ya big guy. C’mon, lots of work to be done then. Mind keepin’ me around here or do ya move from place to place, too?” 

“…”

“Roight, okay, I get it. Not many people know that you’re out here, in a cave just out of Junkertown, so we stay low,” Junkrat waved his organic hand around and pushed past Roadhog with ease, scurrying around to various high and low points around Roadhog’s place, pulling out hidden bombs of different sizes. When did the kid manage to do all of this setting up? Roadhog was always alert even in his sleep, but he also guessed it would explain some of the irregular noises that he had been hearing recently. He had attributed it to a small animal. How long did Junkrat have to make sure that it seemed like he was caught unprepared? Did he do this to others? Roadhog was pretty damn impressed at this point. “Then I better go de-rig this place. Although I wouldn’t mind seein’ it blow to pieces an’ startin’ over, ugh. You live in a pigsty, mate, if I do say so myself. Ha! Pigsty! Get it?”

Roadhog rolled his eyes and lumbered back to where he had been before he noticed the kid scrounging around. He had been making a sort of sandwich out of some mutated kangaroo meat and lizards, with some squished bug juice as a topping for it all. It was one of the better meals to come by around here, and he looked at his water supply, just realizing that if it was low, then the two of them would need to go out and find or trade for more. Thankfully, there was enough for both of them, for now. In a couple of days, they would have to do something about it. Now that he was a bodyguard, he needed to make sure his charge was kept healthy as can be. He wondered how much the kid ate normally, but he didn’t have to wonder for long as he soon felt eyes boring into him just as he was about to take his first bite. He turned around swiftly, glaring down hard at Junkrat who was busy switching his gaze between him and the sandwich, licking his lips hungrily and nervously. It was a tick that he would learn to keep an eye on as he only did it when he was about to make a very rash decision.

“You gonna...eat that? Looks mighty good, could really use a bite,” Junkrat almost panted, tongue hanging out with some drool already starting to drip down. He was hobbling over slowly and cautiously, still keeping an eye on Roadhog. He had a wheel on his back now, a tire with spikes coming out of it, and it almost dwarfed him. It was obviously heavy enough to weigh him down (although that wasn’t too hard, he was too scrawny to start off with) as it is since Junkrat needed to hunch over to accommodate it, definitely adding to his already ratlike appearance. From the additional wires, Roadhog wondered if that had also been a part of Junkrat’s arsenal, and also wondered how he hadn’t seen it laying around either. “‘s that kangaroo? That’s kangaroo ain’t it? Never could catch one, they’re too feisty-Hey! Hands off me, you drongo!” 

Junkrat squirmed in Roadhog’s tight grip around his waist as he struggled against him. Both of his arms were pinned and he squealed when he felt his legs, or leg, whatever, leave the ground. Frantically, he began to kick out, and yelped when he felt his metal leg hit something soft, rather hard. Roadhog doubled over from being kicked in the gut and dropped Junkrat into a heap on the ground. Soon as he was free, the kid scrambled up and rushed over to the food, arms out in front of him ready to grab whatever he could get his hands on, only to be swept off his feet again when a bigger hand grabbed at his ankle, and pulled down hard. Junkrat hit his chin on impact with the ground with enough force that his teeth bit down on his tongue, dazing him, giving Roadhog enough time to regain himself. It wasn’t the kick that had made him let go, it was more shock that he would do something like that when he clearly could have been killed or paralyzed at any moment. But he guessed that that was just the kid’s life then.

“This food’s mine. I’ll fix somethin’ else for you. Boss.”

“Boss? Oi, I like the sound of that!” Junkrat rolled over onto his back and sat up, rubbing at the sore spot on his chin and moving his head around to get used to the feeling of his neck being jolted as well. He didn’t even seem to mind that he had just hurt his tongue, as he sucked on the blood for a bit. He was back to smiling that huge unnerving grin of his, on the verge of bursting out laughing again. That would get annoying real fast. “Heh. Never been called the boss before. Don’t ever stop usin’ it ‘Hog! I’m the boss around here and don’t you forget it! I am the one payin’ you after all. Hey, look who’s laughin’ now, boys! I’m the boss for once!” 

It took Roadhog a second to realize that Junkrat was just talking to himself and not a hidden group of friends that might have come with him. If he even had any friends. It seemed at one point that was the case, but Roadhog didn’t really care. No, mostly he was concerned about how much food they were gonna go through now that there were two people. He almost ate half his weight of food per week, and he still wasn’t sure how much the kid ate in one sitting, so he decided to start out small and see what happened. With his luck, Junkrat was probably one of those that ate constantly yet still managed to stay stick thin due to how much energy they used up bouncing around all over the place. Great.

“What’re you hungry for, boss?”

“Food. I want food, I just need somethin’ to get me by for the day, anythin’ll do, mate. But uh...if you got anymore of that kangaroo…? I would really ‘preciate it, ‘Hog. Oh! What else d’ya got?” Junkrat leapt up from the ground and began to pace, looking around at Roadhog’s eating space. His charge’s eyes lit up and Roadhog could almost see the gears in the kid’s head start turning at full speed and then some. “You got some lizards, don’t ya? I can see ‘em stuffed in that ‘roo. You got any two headed ones that are breathing? Those ones are always fun to chomp on! ‘specially if you eat only one of the heads first and you watch the other one start to freak out. I like to try and keep that one alive while I eat the rest of the body from the tail up. It’s hilarious just even thinkin’ ‘bout it! And you got bugs too! Got any of those nice juicy big ones? Even crunchy will do!”

Roadhog sighed, knowing his answer now. They would have to go hunting for food more often then. “Sure thing, boss.”

“I hit the jackpot on this one for sure, ‘Hog. We’re gonna take over ‘Stralia at this point! No one’ll be able to stop us! Junkrat and Roadhog, slaughter buddies ‘til the end!”

The large man grunted through his mask, creating another pig-like sound. “I’m not your buddy.”

“Aw, come off it, lard arse, I was just jokin’. Course we’re not buddies, who said we were buddies? Hurry it up with the food will ya? I got a lot of work to do if I’m gonna stay here with you. Gotta find some space to be able to work on me bombs and think of the next thing to do. You like explosions? ‘Cause the next place I plan on raiding is gonna need a few of ‘em. Gonna bring down the house in all of its fiery glory!”

For the next few hours, Roadhog listened and watched as Junkrat made himself at home, shoving things around, muttering to himself about various things on his mind. He tried several times to make conversation with his new, and to be quite honest, first bodyguard but he knew that it was useless as after the proposition, Roadhog didn’t utter another word except for grunts and shrugs, so he just filled in what he thought he might have said as he finished creating several new “rooms” that Roadhog didn’t even know would be possible in the limited space in the cave. There was one where Junkrat said he was gonna sleep in, one specifically for him to tinker with his huge stash of explosives that he had on him, and one where he said that they could keep all their treasure. 

“Oi, Roadhog. Soon as that moon reaches it’s highest point do ya mind comin’ with me to get the rest of me stuff? I left it at me old campsite. There's a bonus in it for ya if you carry me there, my leg is startin’ to hurt real bad.”

That hadn’t happened, but Junkrat did manage to catch a break as they drove out to where the kid had said he left his stuff. It was a good thing they did too, it looked as if a sandstorm was about to run through the area, so they had hightailed it out of there as fast as possible. In their haste, Junkrat dropped a couple of grenades when he accidentally picked them up by the pins instead and it was the first time Roadhog got to see just how entranced his boss could get just by looking at a few explosives. The laughter was different when this occurred; unrestrained, loud, and downright spooky. It had made shivers run down his spine. Finally, someone that liked destruction as much as he did. This might actually be doable, he decided.

They had come a long way from all that nonsense. Roadhog had learned the basics of what made Junkrat tick, taking note of every single behavior to make sure that he knew what was going to happen, as whatever happened with Junkrat was bound to happen to him too. It was hard work being the young man’s bodyguard, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Not when he had someone that had something that he wanted the most. That secret. People were willing to kill them just to know its whereabouts, not to mention how much they’ve been offered if Junkrat just gave them even a hint of what it was. Surprisingly, or not surprisingly, Roadhog hadn’t quite figured that out yet, what Junkrat had found and kept guarded at all costs was something that he never talked or spoke about. Always avoided it, avoided the questions, avoided needing to give answers. Even when he had been captured and tortured before he asked Roadhog for protection, he managed to keep quiet about it. If there was one thing Junkrat would die for, it was the one thing that was truly his own. Sure, Roadhog expected to know what it was eventually, and Junkrat promised him that much, but for the most part, it really was the only thing that he owned and didn’t have to share. He had to admit that he admired that about his charge. 

He looked over to check on his boss and noticed that he had nodded off in the sidecar, and both of his filthy omnic appendages were sticking out just as much as his tongue was out of his mouth. Drool was traveling down the side of his cheek and disappearing into the wind and what was left of his hair still seemed to be leaving a faint trail of smoke. There had got to be chemicals that he intentionally put in the ends of his hair. That had to it be it. Roadhog returned his attention to what was in front of him and determined that his hunger should be fixed before they did anything else. Survival came first, explosions and looting came after. Most of the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These nerds mean a lot to me. But I also feel like I kept on saying Junkrat and Roadhog. Oh whale
> 
> On that note, I kind of wanna see Roadratsh become a thing. You know, like roadrash? But...it's more like Roadtrash, tbh.
> 
> I'll probably add more a li'l later but for now I'm sticking with this. There's like a little bit of a second part and if I add anymore after that it'll be more like oneshots, both with Overwatch and outside of it.
> 
> Toodles!


	2. Arms Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junkrat manages to get in trouble to no one's surprise, and Roadhog realizes that he might be more attached than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, first chapter was a beginning and establishment of their relationship, this one is more like how far each one is willing to go for the other, so pretend like they're two oneshots kind of. And no, I wasn't thinking about Mad Max while writing this, no way, heh, definitely not. Okay, well c'mon, maybe just a li'l bit.
> 
> Thank u for reading u.u

The li’l gremlin sprang awake as soon as the chopper came to a sudden halt, his omnic arm immediately pulling out his frag launcher, eyes wide as they took in their surroundings, darting to and fro. He was shaking and started to breathe faster, but he held it at the ready at a moment’s notice in case ‘Hog had landed in hot water and needed help. He hadn’t been sleeping well for the past few days, but Roadhog knew better than to ask about it. Every single time he mentioned something about his boss’s lack of sleep as of recent, a grenade or the frag launcher itself was shoved in his face as a threat and the subject was dropped immediately. When he had time to fully wake up and realize what was going on, he swiveled in the sidecar, giving ‘Hog a rather uncalled for glare that held a little bit of distrust. 

“Oi, what gives, ‘Hog? Where are we? This ain’t the plaza.”

“Stay here,” Roadhog grunted and hid his prized motorcycle behind some rocks to both shelter his charge from the sun and to keep them both out of sight from anyone close to their proximity. Just because it seemed like no one was out here with them, didn’t mean that they could just let their guard down. There could be sand dwellers out here for all they knew and it was a perfect opportunity for anyone to jump them; they were low on gas, low on food, low on weapons, and low on moral. Nothing really seemed to be going well the last couple of days either. A lot of the other Junkers were becoming more aggressive with their attacks, and it was giving them all the more reason to want to leave Australia behind. They had done their antics here and were done with running around from the same people. Besides, Junkrat had never been to other parts of the world before, and it had been way too long since he himself had been outside of the country. It was just a matter of figuring out how to get either a ship or a plane to take them places. And most important, which would be willing to take his beloved chopper along. Guess it was a boat then. He rummaged through his bag of tools, taking a gun and his hook and was about to walk off when his boss made a worried noise that made him turn his head in slight concern. 

“H-Hey, wait! Where do you think you’re goin’, ya heifer?” Junkrat struggled to get out of the sidecar, his limbs tangling up themselves as he was still slightly out of it and the heaviness of his omnic parts weren’t helping at all. They were always so fuckin’ heavy after sleeping with them on. What good were they anyways? Always making his life more difficult that it should, alway muckin’ things up for him. And to think that they weren’t even that rusty. Oh, not to mention the giant tire on his back to add to it all. The large man rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help letting out a deep chortle that made him grab his stomach to hold it as Junkrat finally managed to fall out of the sidecar with anything but grace into a floppy mess in the dirt, kicking up dust into the air, causing the poor guy to start coughing on top of everything else.

“Well don’t just stand there laughin’ yer fat arse off, help me up, pigface!” Junkrat demanded, a hint of a smile starting to show despite his annoyance over making a fool of himself yet again. Even though it really wasn’t that hard to do most times. 

They both knew that he could get up on his own easily, it was just an excuse for him to not have to use that energy and also an opportunity to get on his bodyguard’s nerves by trying to climb onto his shoulders. Time and time again he tried this just so that he wouldn’t have to walk if distance were a factor, but time and time again, ‘Hog managed always to throw him off. He had gotten used to his boss’s touchy-feely antics and on the verge of flirtatious remarks, but they didn’t mean much to him. This time though, Junkrat didn’t even try anything, which surprised him as he had been expecting needing to fight the li’l bugger off of him, but he figured that his boss had his reasons.

“So, what are we doin’ then, eh?” Junkrat dusted himself off and picked up his frag launcher, dusting it off too with his organic hand. He spat into his hand to get rid of dirt on it when suddenly, he perked up. “Oh! Did you bring me out here just for me to test some of me bombs? Ain’t that romantic of you, ‘Hog, all this open space...but nothing to blow up really,” The happy, bubbly persona was quickly replaced with a very obviously disappointed one. Junkrat looked up at his bodyguard and frowned, squinting his eyes up into the eyes of the mask with growing suspicion. “What made you think was a place worth stoppin’ at, ‘Hog? It’s all empty, nothin’ to blow up, nothin’ to destroy. And I can’t waste any more ammo, so I can’t just lob some ‘nades in the sky either. What gives?”

“Not here for fun. Here for food,” Roadhog replied, lifting up his mask a tiny bit to take a quick chug from their shared canteen of water. He caught Junkrat trying to peek to see if he could see more of his face like he usually did, but soon as he was done drinking and wiped the runoff from his chin, he slid the mask back down fast enough to make his boss jump back from being startled. Underneath the mask, where he was free to hide his expression, Roadhog smiled smugly. It got him practically every single time.

“Bastard! Well guess that’s just as good. Carry on then, mate. Just gonna sit here and work on some of me devices,” Junkrat sighed and was about to climb back in the sidecar when a beefy hand stuck itself in front of him, blocking him from going back to sleep after tinkering around a bit while his bodyguard was busy.

“Oi, ain’t I the one that’s supposed to be the boss?” Junkrat snarled, pointing to himself with a metal thumb. 

“…”

The young man narrowed his eyes and huffed, as if doing his fair share was too much for him. “I oughta cut some of yer pay for this. What do you want me to do, ‘Hog?”

“…” 

A feeling of anger and irritation started to build up in his chest. “Keep watch? What for? Nothing’s out here, ‘s just us blokes!” Junkrat splayed his arms out and twirled to display the wasteland to his bodyguard. “There’s no one around for klicks probably. Just look around, not even a piece of scrap in sight! We need to get to the plaza soon, or I’m gonna start chuckin’ everything we have into the air to practice my aiming! You know I’d do it too! I’ll even blow up the bike when I run out of stuff! It’d be a real blast to watch you see it get destroyed!”

“…”

A groan, to show Roadhog that he was about to give in. “Thought for sure that would...Fine! I mean, I got yer back and all, just like you’ve got mine, but I have other important things that I could be doin’. Like...something to do with blowin’ up stuff!”

“…”

A tilt of the head and another whine would be next. Roadhog was glad that they knew each other enough by now that communication was this easy. 

“C’mon, don’t make me feel bad, mate, that’s not fair either.”

That earned him a grunt in return. Finally.

“Okay, okay. Deal’s a deal, mate. Get on with it then. Get me somethin’ nice and juicy though, and I won’t cut yer pay after all,” Junkrat dismissed Roadhog, who knew that he wouldn’t dare cut any of his pay if the brat knew what was good for him. Soon as Junkrat had his frag launcher and other bombs at the ready and was safely perched in the shadows, he was on his way, lumbering around the rocks searching for any signs of life, like holes or spiderwebs. 

“Hey, boss?” He said over his shoulder, in a kind of afterthought.

“Yeh?” 

“Stay out of trouble.”

“How sweet! I’ll be on me best behavior then, promise!” A cheeky grin and giggle told him everything that he needed to know as he turned away from his boss, ignoring the wave goodbye. He just shook his head, knowing fully well that his boss would get himself into some sort of shit before the day was out. He always managed to.

A borough would be a grand thing to happen to them; they hadn’t had that much luck finding anything big anymore. Most of the animals had learned to stay as far away from people as possible now, so coming across any kind of marsupial was somethin’ worth celebrating. The birds however...they could all just fuck off and die for all he cared. He remembered when the bloody emus had come to major towns and cities, searching for food and water. That had been a good laugh for the first five minutes. After that it was just hell. Roadhog shuttered involuntarily and tried to push the memories away. The man that he was before was gone, ripped to pieces slowly after the ALF destroyed the omnium fusion core in rebellion to the fuckin’ Omnics that said they were alive and humanlike enough to have feelings and other complete bullocks. None of that mattered anymore. What mattered now was staying alive and staying on top.

He was about to drop his hook into a promising hole when the sound of approaching engines in the distance caught his attention. Some cars and choppers? He was about to forget about eating to head back after hearing that they were coming closer, when the sound of two of Junkrat’s concussion mines going off made him pause. When all went quiet for a few minutes, he shrugged and went back to the hole, about to try and nab whatever was in there when the high pitched squeal of his boss’s voice reached his ears, putting him on high alert. Something very wrong was happening and he wasn’t there for his charge. Shit.

“Roadhog! Get over here now, I’m not jokin’, we got company! I don’t got enough to-Oi! Hands off the goods, hands off! _RoadHOG_!” 

That was all it took to get him riled up. It was time to go whole hog and by god, if he didn’t make it in time then the people who took his boss were gonna be in a whole lot of trouble and live in a world of pain if they even survived this day. He was known as a one man apocalypse after all, for good and well earned reasons. Roadhog sprinted back, gun in his hand and hook in tow after him. When he rounded a corner, all he saw was some debris, smoke, remnants of gunpowder, and dark spots in the dirt where Junkrat had thrown his bombs, but his boss was no where to be seen. There were just various tire marks in the sand. The treads didn’t seem to be old as they cut into the sand quite cleanly. These weren’t ordinary Junkers, then. These must be the new bounty hunters or mercenaries that had recently come into the area not too long ago, searching for Junkrat. They had left his chopper there though, a miracle of sorts. He gave it a quick once over, saw that no real damage had been done to it, and proceeded to start it up, eager to pursue the bloody wankers as fast as he could. They must’ve really wanted to die today.

“Idiot!” He scolded, both to himself and to Junkrat. In no time, he caught sight of them and he twisted the throttle to push his chopper as fast as it could go, his blood boiling just thinking about losing Junkrat and all the treasures and payloads and money and secret shit. He needed to get his boss back as soon as possible. If anyone managed to kill his charge, it would be Roadhog himself, with his bare hands. In fact, when this was over, he might do it anyways, he was so fucking angry for fucking up and leaving him alone, letting his stomach get the best of him and wandering a little too far off from his side. 

They must’ve had him tied down or something, he wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t seeing any bombs and he didn’t know which car the piece of shit was in. The two motorcycles accompanying them seemed to have been given orders to get rid of him as he heard several gunshots as they edged closer to him. Ha, too easy. They kept on missing him despite how huge of a target he was, and they didn’t even think to aim for his tires. Rookies then, they must be. It didn’t matter to him, they had his boss, someone that he was incredibly protective over and they didn’t matter, only Junkrat’s life and safety mattered. That was why he was hired, to be his protection and guardian, and he would not let two punks get the best of him, and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna let some outsiders keep Junkrat as a new prize to toy with before killing him. Even if Junkrat gave up his secret, they would still take him out, just for fun. Roadhog was familiar with these kinds of people. Besides, judging from their rides, what was one measly secret to them? He was really starting to hate the powerful again. Ultimately it was them that got them all into this mess in the first place for letting Omnics take over, believing they could all live in harmony...

He rammed the first bike at full speed, causing the man to spin out. Roadhog watched and didn’t suppress his laughter when the man landed on his head, splitting open both the helmet and his skull, and watched as the body gave its final twitches of life before going completely limp, fragments of helmet, scalp, and brain matter scattered around the area. The sight his body was invigorating, making him feel alive. The other panicked and tried to shoot Roadhog again, this time grazing his shoulder, but it just made him angrier and he felt the rage give him even more strength. With his hook, he threw it and pulled as soon as it hit its target with enough force to grab ahold of the other man through his jacket. He then dragged the unfortunate man for a good 50 meters before flicking his wrist to unhook him. There wasn’t enough leather in the world to save that man from the road rashes and burns and he was left in the dust, looking like a worn out rag doll that a dog had just finished chomping on; pieces of flesh strung about here and there, more blood littering the landscape, and some of his insides were spilling out from a few cavities. He was still moving, desperately trying to put what he could back in its place, but he would bleed out in moments. Both of them had been shown mercy. Roadhog snorted and kept on going, his eyes on the prize.

One of the three cars held Junkrat in it, and he was determined to figure out which one it was. He didn’t want to just pick a car and reduce it to pieces, as much as he wanted to. He couldn’t afford to hurt his boss either, or risk him being killed in action. That would be no good for both of them. And no, it wasn’t because he had grown to like the runt, it was just...wouldn’t be good for either of them. He looked for any sign of Junkrat, although he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. An explosion of course, but they probably disarmed him as soon as they got their hands on him. Fuck, he probably didn’t even have his frag launcher on him or any other weapons-

A window shattered from the middle car as a spring peg leg kicked through it violently. Roadhog watched in amazement as Junkrat’s metal arm got rid of the remaining glass before he struggled to get out. Sometimes Roadhog forgot just how tall Junkrat was in comparison to other people. They had disarmed him completely and he looked almost naked and vulnerable without his tire and bombs. Multiple hands were trying to grab at him to bring him back, but he was practically feral at this point, incredibly and absolutely furious. Seething, he even tried to bite at some of the hands that got just a little too close, succeeding in chomping down on at least one that immediately pulled back, blood starting to run down the arm at a quick pace. Roadhog had seen glimpses of this side of Junkrat, but that’s all that they were. Glimpses. This was the whole thing playing out in front of him and he couldn’t take his eyes off of his boss. The younger man must’ve noticed that he was being stared at because he glanced over, caught Roadhog’s eye (or at least it seemed like it, he could never tell ‘cause of that stupid bloody mask, when will he ever take it off and show him his face, haven’t they been partners long enough? Oh, and his black eye wasn’t exactly helping either), and then grinned menacingly, a tongue licking up the blood from both his broken nose and blood from the owner of that unfortunate hand. He said something to his captors and threw his head back, cackling. As Roadog tried to get closer, he got another glance from Junkrat that warned him not to. Fine with him then. He left him to his own devices, either figuratively or literally. Everyone underestimated Junkrat, and he just knew for a fact that these wankers were gonna find that out the hard way. 

There were two other cars that needed to be taken care of. No one in either car had been trying to hurt or kill Roadhog, which only put him on edge and made him uneasy, the one feeling that he was not fond of out of many. That meant something was being planned, or that they were just waiting for a signal that was bound to come from the middle car, if it came at all. Eventually, Junkrat broke free, climbing onto the roof of the car, his wild and unrestrained laugh drifting through the howling wind, reaching Roadhog’s ears, sending those same shivers down his spine that he felt the first time he heard it. 

The moment was ruined when bullets starting shooting up from below his charge, startling him badly enough that he almost lost his grip and fell off the speeding car, but thankfully, his metal hand was strong enough to pierce through the roof, providing an impromptu grip. That was when Junkrat seemed like he was yelling at Roadhog, but he had trouble hearing him over the wind and rumble of the multiple V8 engines. It was only when he got hit with a rogue bullet that tore through his shoulder that he realized that he wasn’t doing his job. Again, he put his hook to work, grabbing onto the back bumper of the car that he thought the bullet came from and ripped it off, exposing the metal part, creating the perfect hook, line, and sinker. The second time he tried to hook on, the car swerved out of the way, bullets still spraying from every direction. He got hit several more times, but he wasn’t going to back down. He laid off the hook for a bit, firing back with his own gun several times, blowing out two tires of a car, but it kept on going. It wouldn’t be for long though before they crashed and without medical help for several klicks, they would perish slowly. Roadhog chose to ignore them and started on the second car. Before he did anything more though, he reached for his special canister and inhaled the contents inside of it, ignoring how bad it was. The healing properties of his secret concoction were awful to consume, but the ingredients blocked pain and sped up the recovery process, allowing him to resume his rampage.

A piece of metal hit his mask, almost making him spin out himself, taken off guard from the impact, but it was quickly replaced with urgency when he saw Junkrat motioning for him to come closer. The bloody idiot was planning on jumping, he could tell just by the way he had his spring peg leg positioned. Well, it was worth a shot, and not the first dangerous or stupid thing that his boss had done during his time with him. He pushed his engine as far as it could go, keeping an eye on the gauge; it was almost to the red zone. Soon as he was within reach, Junkrat sprang from the roof and landed almost perfectly in the sidecar, but as he tried to regain balance by flailing his arms about, the weight of his omnic arm got the better of him and Roadhog just barely had time to snatch him up by wrapping a hand around his waist and Junkrat grabbed ahold of his arm, clinging to it tightly. It only seemed to fuel his boss with more adrenaline, having all of these near death experiences, and he pointed eagerly to the last car, claiming that that was the one that had taken his stuff from him. They weren’t being shot at anymore, the mercs were probably getting a little reluctant to see what else they could do. Too bad it was the perfect day for mayhem. 

“Ready when you are, boss.”

“Enough with the boss rubbish for now, they’re callin’ their boss boss, too. Boss boss...bossin’ around another boss, thinkin’ he can outboss the best boss, which is me obviously, I’m good at bossin’-”

“Junkrat!” Roadhog snapped, feeling every single nerve in his body curl up in frustration. The one thing that the brat really needed to learn was how to stop rambling all the damn time.

“What?”

“Shut up and look in the bag!” Roadhog tossed it over to him and slowed down to let the engine cool off just a little bit. The two cars were farther away by now, but it wouldn’t be that much of a problem in a minute or two.

“Roight, got it! Oi! You brought some of me other bombs! I knew you were always thinkin’ ‘bout me, mate!”

Did he even have a choice? No, the answer was always going to be no. Soon as they had shaken hands that day they met, there was no going back for the both of them. 

“Can’t believe they caught me off guard with that smoke bomb of theirs. ‘s embarrassing really. I’m gonna need my frag launcher and rip tire, pronto. You see that one on the right? You hook em an’ I’ll cook ‘em!” 

Roadhog didn’t need to be told twice. Time was running out as his chopper barely had time to cool off and he didn’t even want to think about how much gas was left either. He revved the engine up and they were off again. The cars had slowed down, thinking that because the two Junkers were reunited, that was the end of it. There wasn’t a thought more wrong than that. Both were ambitious when it came to revenge, and Junkrat was not going to go down without a fight to get his gadgets back either, as well as eager to blow up the attempted kidnappers. He knew what they wanted, and it had been more than just about his secret. They called themselves professional bounty hunters. What a joke. 

The giant meat hook dug itself into the trunk of the target car, earning Roadhog a slap on his injured shoulder. He whipped his head around, demanding a reason why.

“If anything was damaged because of that, I’ll leave ya to rot along with the rest of them!”

Roadhog rolled his eyes yet again and grunted. Already throwing empty threats at him and he hadn’t even been back for five minutes. They would need to do something quick though, the windows were beginning to roll down and the barrels of several different gun types were beginning to peek through.

“What a lovely day!” Junkrat called out as he tossed two grenades at them, watching the guns retreat as the left side of their target blew up, heavily damaging both car doors. It must’ve thrown the driver off because they began to swerve dramatically to try and correct the blast, and both bodyguard and charge started laughing as they hung on, just waiting for the car to flip. It wasn’t that it was rare for Roadhog to laugh, but it was rare for Junkrat to feel that special deep laugh reverberate throughout his body. If there was ever a time that he felt more alive, this would be it.

A small rock formation was coming up and Roadhog let go of his chain in order to keep a safe distance as the car slammed into it, flipping it forward, and he felt satisfied when it landed on the roof, smashing the top of the car almost completely flat. No survivors then, or if so, they were probably wishing that they had died on impact. He got out his gun again and refilled it with anything that he could, then stopped the chopper. Jumping off, gun at the ready, he cautiously went over to check for any signs of life before he let Junkrat near the trashed vehicle. Nothing organic moved, nothing organic made a sound...it was probably safe for him to flip it back over to get at the trunk easier. After he had done so, he still told his boss to stay back, but it was clear after getting a good look inside that no one was alive. 

“All clear.”

“Great, ‘cause the other is comin’ back pretty fast. You ready to go hog wild on ‘em?” Junkrat asked, prying open the busted trunk with little difficulty. As he gathered up his things and promised his frag launcher that he’s never let it leave him like that again, he heard his body guard ready his homemade mini gun of sorts. The show was about to start.

“Always,” Roadhog grinned and let loose on the suckers when they came within range. He wasn’t quite sure what they had hoped to accomplish after seeing their companions get absolutely wrecked, but he did know that he was absolutely glad to welcome them with open arms. 

His makeshift gun might have been filled with whatever he could get his hands on, but there were still bullets mixed in there with debris and that was enough to penetrate the car and soon Junkrat’s rip tire joined the fray too. It didn’t directly cause the car to crash, but the driver had been shot in the head and slumped over, turning the wheel too quick and the explosion from Junkrat’s specialized weapon accelerated the spins. Apparently some of the people inside weren’t wearing seat belts, so they of course went flying out of the windshields or knocked into the windows, breaking them open and godawful looking appendages spilled out. When it came to a rest, Roadhog again went to check. A man who had almost been thrown out of the car (he was pinned by it. Must’ve been thrown against a window) was still breathing, just barely conscious and when he noticed Roadhog looming over him, he just smiled. 

“Rutledge…such a pleasure to finally meet you and your pathetic excuse for an outlaw friend.”

Bounty hunters for sure then. Must’ve done his research to know his name. He waved Junkrat over and soon as Junkrat laid eyes on him, he sneered. 

“That’s the guy, ‘Hog. Bloody wanker wants our heads on a silver platter and me secret stuff too. Ain’t happenin’ now, you’re coughin’ up blood and we sure as hell ain’t gonna patch you up,” he snickered as he reached into his personal bag of ammo.

“Wait, wait! Don’t-” The pleas were muffled when Junkrat shoved one of his happy face grenades into the bloke’s mouth and he took his time pulling out the pin, feeling gratification in watching the different expressions and feelings this man was going through. He even could have sworn that he saw the life flash before the man’s eyes too. It seemed...boring. 

“If at first you don’t succeed, blow it up again is what I always say. C’mon, ‘Hog, let’s take what’s ours back and then some. And hey, don’t feel too bad that you failed, ya yobbo. At least you’re gonna go out with a bang! Toodles!”

Both of them took off running, looking back over their shoulders to watch the exact moment the grenade blew, either giggling or snorting in anticipation. The man shut his eyes and began to pray as the last moments of his life came to an end. So close, yet so far to his biggest catch-

“Kaboom!” Junkrat yelled right after the man’s head blew apart, leaving a partially exposed spinal chord and torn muscle tissue of what used to be a neck. 

“Beautiful! What a truly wonderful way to end the day. I love the smell of a job well done, ha ha ha!” Junkrat couldn’t contain the excitement in his voice, nor could he seem to stop laughing as he looked at all the broken, bloody bodies and the scraps of metal and debris that used to be cars. When he finally calmed himself down enough and wiped away the tears that were trickling down his face from laughing so hard, he nudged Roadhog’s arm just a little bit with his metal hand to try and get his attention as he too couldn’t take his eyes off of their handiwork. “Hey ‘Hog?”

The larger man let out a grunt of acknowledgement that made Junkrat feel even more alive, if that were possible. He just felt plain giddy, a rush of a different kind of excitement overcoming him as he ran his mouth again, not really thinking about what he was saying until it was already out.

“You really are me best mate. I mean, c’mon, just look at all this amazing carnage! It’s like a summer barbecue out here! They should send the rest of the members for us so that we can waste ‘em too, turn ‘em into bacon bits and useless shrapnel! Oh, I’m just so happy, just look at all of this glory! We make a great team!” He spread his arms open as wide as they would go to better display the wreckage as he looked up at Roadhog, who was trying his best to avoid his gaze. It frustrated him, but he also knew that his bodyguard was just not the kind of person who wanted affection, although Junkrat had to admit that he had been noticing that Roadhog was getting more tolerant to the nicknames and other quips that came out of his mouth. This time he was being as sincere as he could be; he couldn’t remember a time when he felt this much joy with someone else, even before the Omnic Crisis. “I knew I kept you around for a reason.” 

Silence. 

“And it wasn’t for the sparkling conversations,” Junkrat huffed, his shoulders slumping. He scratched at the elbow of his right arm and sniffed, trying to decide what to do next. The fire inside of him was starting to burn low. All the excitement was dying down, and he really wanted to move on, to do something, to reach that high again when he and ‘Hog were wrecking the bounty hunter’s stuff, just wrecking and tearing it all down completely with glorious explosions, and his bodyguard was laughing that fantastic laugh that kind of made him want to melt as he gunned down half of them, he adored that laugh so much, but now it was all over and ‘Hog was being too quiet, what happened, what went wrong, what did he do wrong-

Junkrat felt a rough and calloused hand pat his head, then ruffle his hair a bit, messing it up, more than it already was. His first reaction was to freeze, but then he just kind of let it go on, maybe a little longer that it should have been, but it felt nice and this was the first time ‘Hog had done something that resembled even the slightest bit of affection back outside of keeping him warm when he needed the extra body heat at night when ratty blankets weren’t enough. It made him feel better instantly and he almost whined when the hand went away, leaving the ghost of the sensation behind. It wasn’t that he craved it, it just felt like they were finally pushing past the professional shit into friendship territory, if Roadhog was capable of such a thing. He liked to think so, although he didn’t want to blow, heh, good one, this action out of proportion. Everyone could use a great friend like ‘Hog.

“I’ll pick up the necessary bits and fill up the tank. You grab whatever you want, ‘Rat. We’ll take as much as we can back.”

“Oi, don’t you be tellin’ me what to do, wanker!”

That managed to get a laugh out of ‘Hog and everything seemed to be back to normal, whatever that was at this point. He got a quick ruffle again and instead of it feeling condescending, it was more of a reminder. 

As they gathered up what they could reasonably carry and keep on the chopper, Junkrat complained the entire time about how he was payin’ Roadhog, so there wasn’t a reason for him to making any kind of final decisions. A quick glance and a reply along the lines of them being partners got him to shut up momentarily. They left the scene of the crime and Junkrat spat on the bodies they passed. Let these foolishly optimistic mongrels keep coming. They weren’t stickin’ around in the Outback for long anyways. It was time to move on and see the world, steal some stuff, kill Omnics, blow up a few or all buildings, and harass Omnic lovin’ civvies, the lot of ‘em. Yup, things were starting to look up for them. Now to figure out transportation, although he might let ‘Hog figure that one out since he’d been out of Australia before. Lucky git.

“I can’t wait to reach Numbani. Gonna level the entirety of it, turn it into what we got here. Those kids’ll have to grow up like I did, and it’ll serve ‘em right for wantin’ to trust those nasty machines. Humans livin’ in harmony with Omnics. Makes me want to vomit on the spot. Absolutely sickening. What about you, ‘Hog? You lookin’ forward to anywhere special?”

Roadhog snorted and grunted an answer back.

“Aw, thanks big guy. I’d go anywhere with you, too,” Junkrat put his metal arm behind his head to support it as he laid back in the sidecar. He looked up at the sky and smiled, knowing that where ever he and ‘Hog went, long as they were by each other’s side, it couldn’t be all bad. There wasn’t anyone in the entire world that could stop them now. He closed his eyes, content with his life and friend, and dreamed of riches that were sure to be theirs quite soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, do I love these guys.
> 
> Rambly Junkrat is my fave Junkrat. Disgruntled but protective Roadhog is also my fave.
> 
> Also, I know that all cars now hover, but in Australia they're still workin on that ok
> 
> OI, I GOT OVERWATCH SINCE I FIRST POSTED, AND LET ME TELL YA, I DIDN'T THINK THAT I WOULD BE MAINING JUNKRAT, BUT HERE I AM, HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE PLAYING HIM. He rly is fun jfc you won't believe how much i laugh along with him (hint it's all the time)
> 
> Also, I was listening to He's a Tramp by Peggy Lee cos of reasons, and my bf saw it and thought it said Peggy Leggy and now I can't stop thinking about that, and also thinking about Junkrat possibly referring to his omnic leg as that to piss off Roadhog sometimes.
> 
> "But me ol' peggy leggy is gettin' real tired, mate!"
> 
> "No. Definitely not just 'cause you said that."
> 
> "Please? Just for a li'l while 'til it stops achin'."
> 
> "...fine."
> 
> PIGGY BACK RIDES AGGRESSIVELY INTO THE SUNSET TOGETHER


End file.
